Tiger Woods released a statement

"As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained
some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.
This
situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m
human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen
again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I
understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors
that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The
only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted
courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to
help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been
stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the
concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some
understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive
some people can be. "

Let's discuss some of those rumors shall we? There are a number of theories as to what happened to cause Tiger to lose control of his SUV and plow into a tree on his neighbor's property.

1. Tiger and his wife Elin got into a heated argument about the rumors of his alleged affair with New York restaurant hostess, Rachel Uchitel. The National Enquirer reported days before Tiger took this woman to Australia and has been romancing her. Elin wasn't having that and scratched up his face and chased him out of the house with a golf club. As Tiger was trying to drive away, she smashed in the back windows of the Escalade, distracting him and causing him to lose control of the car. The neighbors came out and called 911 while he was unconscious and bleeding on the ground.

2. Similar to #1 except she managed to bust his head to the white meat before he left the house. The blow upside his head disoriented him and caused him to crash.

3. Woods was leaving his home at approximately 2:22am for completely innocent reasons. For unexplained reasons, as he was backing out, he managed to clip a fire hydrant and run into a tree on his neighbor's property. The crash was low speed and therefore did not cause the air bags to deploy. His neighbors and his wife heard the commotion and ran outside. His neighbors called 911 as he lay bleeding on the ground next to his Escalade. His wife ran back inside to retrieve one of his prized golf clubs which just happened to be handy. She used the club to break out both rear windows of the caddy since she couldn't get his driver's door open. [They don't quite have the timing right on this yet, hence their stalling of the highway patrol. Also, they don't explain how Elin managed to hoist herself up through the rear windows of the car without getting a single scratch on her from the broken glass, tree limbs, etc, climb through the car, open his door, and drag his big ass out. Also, why were the neighbors just standing there? Wasn't there a man there who could have helped her?]

Yesterday, Tiger refused to speak with law enforcement investigators for a third straight day. They have now begun interviewing his neighbors and anyone else who might have information about the accident. For her part, the rumored 'other woman', Rachel Uchitel, denies there was any affair. Still, she has flown to California and retained barracuda lawyer Gloria Allred as her counsel in the matter. All that remains is to see who offers the bigger payday, Tiger's people or the tabloids.

Since when do you get to decide when you want to speak with police about an accident involving damage to city and personal property and injury to person? I wish every last one of you safe travels, but let one of you get into an accident today. Tell the responding officers it just isn't a convenient time to discuss the accident and that you need your 'privacy' and see how far that'll get ya. Let me know 'kay?

Tiger gets in accident in front of the crib at 2:25AM Friday

Details are sketchy, but Tiger Woods must gave been in a rush to get to Best Buy for Black Friday deals. As he pulled out of his driveway in his Escalade, he drove onto his neighbor's property, ran into a fire hydrant and into a tree. Apparently, there was no alcohol involved and the air bags did not deploy.

Now the sketchy part. Tiger's wife Elin says she heard the accident do you think she would have immediately ran outside at 2:25AM if she was alone, wasn't up already and knew for certain that was her huzzband?, came outside and broke the rear window of the SUV with a golf club but did she really chase him out of the house with the club, smash the rear window of the SUV and he crashed trying to escape to free him from the vehicle.

An ambulance took Woods from the scene. It was reported that the number one golfer in the world was laying on the ground outside his vehicle with cuts on his lips and blood in his mouth and had been drifting in and out of consciousness. No word on who called 911. Woods was treated at the Orlando area Health Central Hospital and released.

The Florida Highway Patrol arrived at the Woods' mansion Friday evening for a routine interview regarding the incident, but Tiger's wife told them Woods was resting and asked them to return Saturday morning by then the family jet would be ready at the Sanford Airport for a getaway to Cabo. They agreed.

Were they sweating cooking oil?

Jennifer Lopez explained to Access Hollywood why she fell during her comeback performance at Sunday's American Music AwardsWhile attempting to do a move that involved climbing on a few of the dancers' backs, JLo explained the fall and said, "The guys backs were a little bit sweaty." To her credit, JLo got right back up and kept dancing. She hit the floor kind of hard, so I commend her for that. It really reminded me of this other famous fall:

Bey turned it into a flip, got up, and kept dancing. That's dedication for you! LOL!

NBA Baller shoots at the wrong basket

If you missed Saturday's Anti-NBA Finals game you missed a real gem. With half a second left in the first quarter, the New York Knicks inbounded the ball to guard Nate Robinson. Robinson then turned around and tossed a 30-foot shot at the wrong basket. Get this: he made the shot! Fortunately for him and the Knicks, the ball swooshed through the basket after the buzzer so it didn't count, but that didn't stop the owner from wanting to kick his butt.

And the answer is...................ME!

Kareem Abdul Jabbar on Celebrity Jeopardy

Roxanne Shante has something to say

“I would like to thank my long time fans and supporters for your continued support. I am humbled and grateful to all of you for that. Without going into all of the details as of right now, I would like to apologize that this story regarding my post recording career has caused such a ruckus. The entire story will be revealed at a later time.

Throughout my career and life, I have been faced with many challenges, both professionally and personally. Like all of you, I am human, and may have not made the correct decision all the time. And, like anyone else, I would like to think that my entire life or career is not judged by one error or mistake.

It is very easy to criticize someone and I have left myself open to criticism. That is fair. There are plenty of people that will attest that I have done a lot for them. It seems though, that negativity gets more attention than positivity.

All I can say to that, is before you level any further criticism and cynicism, walk in my shoes. I am making this statement to apologize to the people that truly care about me for any angst that this situation has caused, and to thank them for their continued support. I am proud of what I have been able to do for so many others, and would like to let those persons know that I will continue to be there for them no matter what.

I am proud that during my twenty plus years as a pioneer in the Hip-Hop industry, to have opened doors for those who came after me, such as MC Lyte, Salt N Peppa, and Queen Latifah to name a few. I will have no further statement in regards to this matter at this time.”

Notice how she doesn't come right out and explain why she lied. So really, Roxanne Shante has nothing to say.

source

Meth wrote a check to the taxman...but then he got high...

The Staten Island rapper, actor and producer known as Method Man was tagged with another label Monday: tax cheat.

The 38-year-old Grammy-winning artist, a founding member of the hip hop collective Wu-Tang Clan, was arrested for stiffing the tax man out of $32,799.

Method Man, whose real name is Clifford Smith, is accused of failing to pay New York State income taxes between 2004 and 2007. He faces up to four years in prison, if convicted.

The back story, according to the rapper, is simple.

“Myself, I’m a pothead, it’s no secret. Everyone knows that. I go on the road and forget everything else. Sure, [the tax department] sent letters to my house saying, ‘We need this money.’ They started sending them in 2002. Here it is, 2009, and I never paid this s— because I don’t think like that!”

So Do You Think You Could At Least Put on Some Draws?

Tuesday night on So You Think You Can Dance auditions in the ATL, an aspiring contestant reacted to some good news by rolling on the floor in her short skirt, exposing her bare crotch to primetime America and inviting the wrath of the FCC. Then maybe she didn't. After the video and stills were posted online, SYTYCD producer Nigel Lythgoe made the seeming statement of admission to TMZ, "The show was always designed to expose talent, but not in this way." But then Fox and Lythgoe released statements saying that the dancer was "wearing flesh-toned dance gear." Above is the Zapruder pic and flick. How was this exposed if the show is taped, and how much do you think the fine is gonna be?

source: NY Daily News

Only In Fla: Polk County Sheriffs in a WII bit of Trouble

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With guns drawn and flashlights cutting through darkened rooms, Polk County undercover drug investigators stormed the home of convicted drug dealer Michael Difalco near Lakeland in March.

As investigators searched the home for drugs, some drug task force members found other ways to occupy their time. Within 20 minutes of entering Difalco's house, some of the investigators found a Wii video bowling game and began bowling frame after frame. NINE HOURS LATER...the raid was completed.

But detectives with the Polk County Sheriff's Office, the Auburndale, Lakeland and Winter Haven police departments did not know that a wireless security camera connected to a computer inside Difalco's home was recording their activity. The Sheriff's Office is still investigating....

Chickens need love too!

Fox News' Ernie Anastos had a little Freudian slip during an on air segment about chicken.

Yung Berg finally speaks out on his wayward chain

Rashard Lewis has been suspended

The Orlando Magic's Rashard Lewis has been suspended for the first 10 games of the season; Lewis was suspended for having an elevated testosterone level in routine drug testing . Lewis claims his levels were raised as a result of his taking a supplement that contained a substance that has been banned by the NBA. He will have to fork over $1.6 million of his $18 million salary in fines for his positive test.

Shyne still has to do parole

After serving eight-and-a-half years of a 10 year sentence for his participation in the Club New York shooting on December 27, 1999, rapper Shyne finally become a free man on October 6, 2009. Now he has to go back to court because they forgot to structure his parole.

“What happened was when they sentenced him [in March of 2001 to ten years] they didn’t sentence him to any parole – post release supervision, which was mandatory. So the Correction Department has asked the court to re-sentence him – under the law they can do that,” explained Shyne’s attorney, Oscar Michelen, to HipHopDX. “And so the judge will decide whether to give him the maximum parole, which is five years, or the minimum parole, which is two-and-a-half years. Shyne will automatically have to do at least a year-and-a-half,

Nia Long backs up off that

In a recent interview with actress Nia Long, an interviewer asked Long what she thought about Beyonce's recent comic blockbuster, Obsessed. The magazine quoted Nia as saying, “I didn’t see Obsessed, so I can’t comment, but it’s just not about how talented you are anymore. It’s about, ‘How much box-office revenue will this person generate...When you see certain people… they just don’t have the skill, and no one in their team has said, ‘You need acting classes.’”

The Papa Shady machine has started turning its gears, and now Pride editors are scrambling to clean up the blood on the dancefloor. They have released a statement saying, “Pride would like to apologise for the fact that editing of the final article may have left Nia’s comments open to tabloid manipulation...As Europe’s premier publication for the woman of colour, Pride seeks only to celebrate the achievements of celebrities such as Nia Long and Beyonce Knowles, and hope no offence has been caused through the media speculation.”

Marion Barry: "What had happened was..."

Ne-Yo says he's all man--and big boys do cry

Ne-Yo took to his Global Grind blog to explain his meltdown in Manchester on Saturday night.

I'm currently on tour in the UK. This tour began right after a 4 month stint in
Prague shooting a world war 2 movie. We're in a different city in a different
part of the UK every night, moving non stop. Since my first album, roughly 5
years ago, I've taken 1 vacation, and even that was about 2 years ago.Basically,
I have an issue with not knowing when to say enough is enough, so last night in
Manchester, my body said it for me.I got on stage energized and ready to go,
even tho for the last 5 days I've been dealing with a sinus infection. I paid it
no real mind, and kept on going, like I always do. My voice couldn't take it.
From the first song I knew something was wrong. I shoulda stopped there, but I
come from a school where no matter what, the show must go on. It wasn't until
about 4 songs in that I came to the painful realization that my voice was done,
literally nothing left, and that I would have to stop the show.Now let me
explain something to you:When I say this music, that stage, my fans, THIS is my
life, I'm not saying it cause it sounds good in a sound bite. THIS IS MY LIFE!!
Not much else matters to me, honestly.My music, my family and the people that
appreciate my music.....the fans. THAT'S ABOUT IT!!I've never had to stop a
show, never dreamed I'd ever have to. So when I had to walk out on that stage
and tell 12,000 of the people responsible for making me who I am that I could
not perform for them, it literally broke my heart.I cried harder than I have in
a very long time with no shame whatsoever.To anyone out there that would like to
question my manhood because of this I'll say this to you:If the one thing you
cared about more than anything else in the world was threatened or even taken
from you, if you knew that the people you cared for the most you had to
disappoint and it was your fault... and this didn't spark some kind of emotional
outbreak within you...then with no shame I'll say you are truly a stronger man
than I.To the people of Manchester, know that I love you and I thank you for
being so understanding and supportive. And I promise you that you will receive
the show deserved.Thanks to the fans for the love and concern.And to the
bloggers....go to hell.Sincerely, Ne*Yo!!

Let me just say I LOVE his closing shot at bloggers. That's the way to get good press over this! For those who lack the patience to read his long winded post, here is the condensed version: "I was tired. I had a fight with my boo that day. I wanted my mommy. I sounded like shit on stage and I knew it so, I bawled like a baby. Fuck you! Buy my album!"

Matthew explains why Beyonce didn't show

“The cancellation of the launch party for Beyonce’s “I AM…” tour, first scheduled for this Saturday at M2, was a result of a breach of contract by the promoter. Beyonce never had a contract with the club itself and no one in her camp dealt directly with the venue. The superstar was never scheduled to perform but was to serve as a co-host and introduce singer/songwriter Solange’s performance. Patrons were falsely promised a performance by Beyonce.”

They actually expect us to believe they scheduled Solange for a show?

This is a cute picture of them together.