Tiger Woods released a statement

"As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained
some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.
This
situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m
human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen
again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I
understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors
that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The
only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted
courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to
help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been
stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the
concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some
understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive
some people can be. "

Let's discuss some of those rumors shall we? There are a number of theories as to what happened to cause Tiger to lose control of his SUV and plow into a tree on his neighbor's property.

1. Tiger and his wife Elin got into a heated argument about the rumors of his alleged affair with New York restaurant hostess, Rachel Uchitel. The National Enquirer reported days before Tiger took this woman to Australia and has been romancing her. Elin wasn't having that and scratched up his face and chased him out of the house with a golf club. As Tiger was trying to drive away, she smashed in the back windows of the Escalade, distracting him and causing him to lose control of the car. The neighbors came out and called 911 while he was unconscious and bleeding on the ground.

2. Similar to #1 except she managed to bust his head to the white meat before he left the house. The blow upside his head disoriented him and caused him to crash.

3. Woods was leaving his home at approximately 2:22am for completely innocent reasons. For unexplained reasons, as he was backing out, he managed to clip a fire hydrant and run into a tree on his neighbor's property. The crash was low speed and therefore did not cause the air bags to deploy. His neighbors and his wife heard the commotion and ran outside. His neighbors called 911 as he lay bleeding on the ground next to his Escalade. His wife ran back inside to retrieve one of his prized golf clubs which just happened to be handy. She used the club to break out both rear windows of the caddy since she couldn't get his driver's door open. [They don't quite have the timing right on this yet, hence their stalling of the highway patrol. Also, they don't explain how Elin managed to hoist herself up through the rear windows of the car without getting a single scratch on her from the broken glass, tree limbs, etc, climb through the car, open his door, and drag his big ass out. Also, why were the neighbors just standing there? Wasn't there a man there who could have helped her?]

Yesterday, Tiger refused to speak with law enforcement investigators for a third straight day. They have now begun interviewing his neighbors and anyone else who might have information about the accident. For her part, the rumored 'other woman', Rachel Uchitel, denies there was any affair. Still, she has flown to California and retained barracuda lawyer Gloria Allred as her counsel in the matter. All that remains is to see who offers the bigger payday, Tiger's people or the tabloids.

Since when do you get to decide when you want to speak with police about an accident involving damage to city and personal property and injury to person? I wish every last one of you safe travels, but let one of you get into an accident today. Tell the responding officers it just isn't a convenient time to discuss the accident and that you need your 'privacy' and see how far that'll get ya. Let me know 'kay?