What's Jenna Doin?

So, my daughter's best friend, Jenna's moms gets me on the phone and asks: "Mr. Stimulus, how do you make your COLLARD greens?" I wasn't about to tell her to put her foot in them or ask her if she knows Paula Deen, so I told her to simply go to the canned vegetable isle of the supermarket and get a big can of 'Glory' low-sodium collards. "That's it?", she asked? "That's it."
I haven't heard from them since, so I was assigned the task of taking my teenage daughter to see Sherlock Holmes. If you read any of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle books, you'll likely be disappointed. Since I haven't lately, I was entertained.

Holmes and Watson open the movie by fighting their way into a secret ceremony to stop the villainous Lord Blackwood from sacrificing a female victim at an altar. Blackwood is captured and sentenced to be hanged for the five maidens he's already killed, but at the hanging does his best David Blaine impression, survives the hanging and on about the third day seems to rise from the dead and busts out his crypt.

The rest of this movie revolves around Holmes relationship (Victorian bromance) with Watson and visualizes Sherlock's thought processes from how he deducts a case to how he fights an adversary. Whenever Sherlock doesn't have a case to devote himself to he sits up in his room at 221b Baker Street drinking Dr. Watson's eyeball medicine and performing experiments on his farting bulldog.

There is a French version of 'Deebo' from 'Friday', there are Tasers, I can't stand Jude Law but he was an excellent Watson, there are 'Matrix-like' fight scenes, a secret society of powerful men and there's a plan for world domination. Did I say Downey is outstanding and it is refreshing watching an American convincingly play a British icon for a change?

While the movie is rushed like a summer popcorn flick, Sherlock Holmes gets an inverse TWO out of (1 is best, 5 is worse) five theatre chairs.