Random thoughts on the BET Awards 2009

There were some very good performances on last night's BET Awards show...and some notsogood ones. Keri Hilson's set was elaborate with smoke and a motorcycle and approximately 47 backup dancers but it disappointed on a number of points. The costumes were supposed to be reminiscent of Michael but ended up looking like Grease 2 instead. The number of people on stage was distracting, but unfortunately didn't distract from the fact that Keri's dancing wasn't up to par last night. She huffed an puffed through her set and sounded horribly out of tune the entire time. She did look cute. Love the hair!

Lil Wayne performed with Drake and Cash Money last night. I know this is Weezy's year what with fathering 12.8 kids and having 4 girlfriends and all those hit songs but that song--hit though it may be--was completely inappropriate for a nationally televised awards show honoring elders in the music business. They had to bleep out more than half his words. What.was.the.point? Then they had all those young girls up on stage while they were cussin' and singing "I wish I could f*&% every girl in the world." What was that? How could Debra Lee ever justify that? Is that supposed to make me want to shop at Citi Trends (not sure what could) and switch to Nationwide? Why is Drake getting so much shine? None of his work is outstanding yet. For me, right now he is indistinguishable from so many other My.space rappers who have sent me friend requests over the years. He must have deep Degrassi pockets to keep bribing his way into all these photo ops and real "star" situations. I'm not saying he might not develop into a really good talent, I'm just saying he hasn't earned his chops to be getting all the shine he has lately.

New Edition reunited to open the show with a Jackson 5 tribute. You can tell those dudes are getting older because they couldn't move like they used to and some of them can't sing anymore. Those arthritic knees don't pop up as high on those bouce steps do they? Bobby has turned into the epitome of the nasty man sticking his tongue out while the camera was on him. That plus the football team of kids he has trouble paying child support for leads me to believe he may have some sort of sex tape in his future to resuscitate his career. The tribute was fun. It falsely led me to believe there would be some significant tribute befitting Michael's legacy later on in the show.

Soulja Boy came out and had a good time on stage. His song was just as whiny and out of tune as it sounds on the radio, but I can't hate. He made himself into a star on sheer desire alone so I have to give him props. Plus, he gives a lot of interviews and tweets to connect with his fans, so he seems like a down to earth young dude. That song is still annoying.

Ne-Yo took his hat off y'all! His head was just as huge, shiny, and misshapen as you might imagine. As much as I dislike him, his music was on point. He gave "Lady In My Life" all the tenderness and purity Mike would have wanted it to have.

Jaime Foxx and Martin Lawrence seem to enjoy cross-dressing more than Tyler Perry. Seriously, I'm sure the Skank Robbers skit was years in the making. Jaime did his best to keep Michael's spirit in the show. He performed his little skit at the beginning to Beat It and was silly trying to moonwalk. His tight little pants reminded me of how goofy all his humor is. I enjoyed his little Guitar Hero stint at the end of his other set, too. I wonder if that was a little dig at Weezy?

Beyonce of course was completely self absorbed with both her set and her acceptance. First of all she fakely paid homage to Michael when she accepted her award her daddy purchased for her. This only months after talking slick about Janet and Joe Jackson and throwing shade on their whole family. Then she sings Ave Maria in some bizarre bridal gettup. I think I managed to sleep with my eyes open for 4 whole minutes during her set. Nobody wanted to see that. I already saw it on yo.utube 3 months ago. And please. Like she didn't know Hova was going to perform. His performance was boooooriiinng. What happened to retirement? Too lonely with Bey touring 367 days a year?

The O'Jays tribute was very well put together. It was the most well-planned portion of the evening. The O'Jays still have it. They saved that show from my remote control to tell the truth. I almost forgot, I was praying for somebody to bring the sandman out of retirement to sweep Don Cornelius' painstakingly-slow-and-hard-to-understand behind off the stage. If they couldn't locate the Sandman the giant shepherd's hook from the Gong Show would have done nicely. I mean damn! I was up out of my seat with clenched fists trying to help him squeeze out the words. Where was the band from the Oscars? They start playing right through whatever heartfelt and poignant remarks you have to make no matter who you are! BET's house band needed to grow a pair because you could tell every.single.person in that audience felt exactly the same way as I did while he was on the mic.

Debra Lee felt the need to personally shout out Joe Jackson. She added something about the rest of the family as an afterthought as it occurred to her most of America might have just seen through her plot to hook up later that night. What was that? Did you Miss Joe announcing his plans for a new record label before the show? I know people grieve in different ways, but I don't think shameless shilling is on the list of acceptable methods. Speaking of shilling, if Jaime mentioned his tour one mo' gin I was gonna go through the television at him. Buy a commercial slot if it's that damn important for you to say!

Maxwell's "Pretty Wings" was gorgeous. He looked dapper in a suit and fresh haircut and his voice was clear and tender. The feathers floating from the ceiling were a fitting touch. I just feel sorry for the custodial staff. They were probably wondering if guests had to pluck their own fryers to save money this year. It is a recession.

Janet looked so upset, I cried when she started speaking. That picture of her and Michael together as children...it moved me. Michael was human. He was a brother, father, son. People tend to forget that.

I just knew Chris Brown was going to close the show since BET had a giant graphic on their page saying he was the show opener...no Chris. Not even an Usher or (scraping) Omarion, Pretty Ricky, or Justin Timberlake. Dammit, they could have at least gotten Chris Tucker to do a few seconds of dancing. I'm glad Timberlake didn't show. It was rumored he was considered for the tribute. I think that would have been a slap in the face to Janet. I have never forgiven him for the ways he abandoned her when the media tide turned negative after the Superbowl fiasco. He was the one who exposed her yet he got off relatively scott free while her career suffered irreparable damage. I wouldn't have blamed her if she had gone Rhythm Nation 1812 on his ass.

Rumor has it Chris Brown was asked to participate in the tribute. He flew into town, bought a Michael-inspired costume, new shoes, and the rest and began rehearsing. He was then told he couldn't participate because of a possible Rihanna-associated backlash. Then the Jackson family personally requested he be allowed to participate because Michael was a big fan of his dancing; BET relented, then turned around and rescinded just hours before the show began, hence his picture remaining on their website as the opening act until well after midnight. Another related rumor says Jay-Z put the screws on the BET execs and threatened to withhold both his and Beyonce's performances if they allowed Chris to perform. I don't know how true any of this is, but I wouldn't be surprised one bit. There is a lot of backroom dealing and double crossing in the music business.

UPDATE: I forgot to talk about some of the hair. Well, as expected Ne-Yo had absolutely none. Amber Rose had very little.anywhere. Her t-shirt dress was so short you could tell. Amerie had on the same shirt-as-a-dress. Beyonce had on a short assed tunic as a dress and Joseph Jackson couldn't take his eyes off her a$$. (disrespectful to his family? Thoughts?) On a side note, do all these women wearing no-damn-pants realize even nudists put a towel down? Ciara must have worn one of Tyra's (huge) wigs, Tyra's new wig looked a mess, Queen Latifah had on a honey blonde Rapunzel weave, Beyonce's lacefront looked like it hadn't been brushed since Kelly fired Matty (is Solange on strike from the wig crypt), and Lil Wayne's dreads were under control for once.


Well, there you have it folks. What are your thoughts on the show?